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Rich Woolf                                                                                                Vocals
Rich is the lead singer of the band and the one the rest of us hide behind in confrontational situations. Well, Edd and Dean do anyway, Chris has perfected the "nod and smile" technique to such a degree, that some of the time you could almost be fooled into thinking he understands what is going on.. Take the time we confronted our neighbour about her calling the council on us because the level of noise we made during band practice was "disgusting"; Once on enemy territory (The neighbour in question's house) Dean and Edd attempted to blend in to the background while Rich did most of the talking and Chris occasionally mumbled some sort of agreement to show he was still some sort of moral support.(On a side note, we have our suspicions that Rich likes Doritos and Parsnips, if you get my meaning.)
Edd Barker                                                                                      Lead Guitar
There's not much we can really say about Edd. He's overly enthusiastic about 80's rock and his recent purchase of "The Best Air Guitar Album In The World" (or something like that, i fell asleep halfway through reading the title) has turned him into some kind of 80's rock hybrid who is more rad than Marty McFly out of Back To The Future 2 and 3 (but not 1, i didn't see that)and more randy than Niles out of Frasier (make your own mind up about that one). Ok, it might not be due to that one specific album that Edd is how he is, it could be due to a car crash he was involved in when he was young (sadly, the doctors weren't able to proove this). Seriously now, with more 80's influences than... than... mr ..80's...(erm.) Edd widens the range of influences this band has, creating a wholesome, nutritional, full of fibre and nutty goodness sound
Dean Bowden                                                                                Bass Guitar
Dean may appear to be a young man with all the common sense of a small rat, or maybe, maybe one of those pretty little gnomes that sits beside your garden pond with one of those really small fishing rods, pretending to fish, even though they know as well as you that there are no fish in that pond, so instead, they sit there, watching you, every move you make, when you get undressed, when you shower, when you.... Ah, sorry, i got side tracked. Anyway, DO NOT BE FOOLED, according to reputable sources, Dean is actually more intelligent than your Mother; yes, your own MOTHER. Rumour has it that he once mistook a knife for a tooth brush and wiped his arse with it after using the toilet. However, this may not be 100% true, as i just made it up then. Don't believe all you read kids. Well he plays his bass like his idol Mark Hoppus from Blink, he has no pubic hairs and has a deeper voice than Barry White. There's no beating that!
Chris Gower                                                                                             Drums
A late arrival to the band due to the departure of the previous drummer, Chris' turn on's are cheap cider and dirty sheets, and his turn off's are lager with spicy food, and sado masochists, but who's arent, ey?!! Chris was found by his 'parents', wandering the streets trying to sell people parts of his body for operations in foreign hospitals. Sadly there was not much call for body parts in Cornwall so he was adopted at the grand old age of 4 and a half months. He soon developed into a young man, so at the age of 6 he was sent down the coal mines to earn some money for the family. Soon after he decided he'd had enough of physical exertion so he decided to go to school. Unfortunately, what with looking 43 at the age of 7, he had to pretend he was a supply teacher, and turned up to lessons with a Transformers note pad asking his pupils to teach him the basics of multiplication. He was deemed officially senile and given a caretakers job, however this was not enough for Chris as he still had the yearn to learn (and burn, but that's another story) so he began sitting outside classrooms listening to what was being taught. One day he was found out and incarcerated. A few years into his sentancing of 10 year in prison, it was realised that there had been a misunderstanding, so he was released early, given a face lift, a drum set, a new family, and most importantly a new start.
There, are many more people living like this. If you would like to help these people, please send all spare change, and money in note form to Chris and he will endeavour to put it into good use to help others. I promise.